Booty Patrol

I went to NYC a few weekends ago and I absolutely fell in love with the city-chic style.  I live in DC- not exactly a fashion mecca but I've always considered myself a good dresser (and great with accessories, thank you very much).  But apparently I missed the boot boat.  I guess it’s because I’ve been out of the fashion/retail world, but I know that’s no excuse.  I could not believe how downright frumpy I felt walking next to these super cool women.  I knew I was in trouble when my friend (a straight male) took one look at my UGGs and told me that nobody in New York wore UGGs.  Well, shit.  The one thing I could not get over was the assortment of amazing boots- I had to stop myself from asking at least a dozen women where they got them!  I have about half a dozen pairs of  boots myself (mid-calf, knee high, booties, flat, spiked) but I rarely wear them- I’m usually exclusively pumps,  platforms, wedges, or Tory Burch Reva flats.  Not anymore.  I am a boot convert.  Thank God I had packed a pair of boots that I wore on Saturday night.  They were nothing spectacular- grey 3 ½ inch heels with some buckles but at least I wouldn’t stand out like some bumpkin. 
Here’s the thing about boots: you instantly feel sexier.  I’m not talking about the pleather, over the knee, platform, 6 inch kind of boots.  You feel powerful wearing them- like you could kick a little ass if you need to.  All boots make you walk a little taller (literally) and put a little strut in your step.  There’s less stumbling than in pumps or platforms since you have sturdy ankle support.  Also, they keep you warm because they cover more of your leg and you get to wear socks with them (bonus!). 
While working on my Christmas list I found waayyy too many boots that I fell in love with so I thought I’d share some of my favorites.  Enjoy!                       

Dior Over the Knee Biker Boot

You do NOT understand how obsessed I am with this boot

Christian Louboutin “Marisa” Studded Platform

Ready to kick some serious boot-ay in these

Jimmy Choo "Dyott"

MICHAEL Michael Kors "Rock'n'Roll"

Sam Edelman "Vixen"

Stuart Weitzman "Highline"

Microstrech on the back so it fits all calves

Hunter "Huntress"

Functional and OBVIOUSLY I had to have some pink

Alexander McQueen "Snake Biker Jacket" Bootie

Bourne "Elle"

Great color and love the bow

And so a boot lover was born.  I love the powerful feeling of wearing them and have made a decision to wear them more.  I mean, powerful, hot, comfy, and warm?  It's a win-win-win-win.

My 4 Biggest Regrets: What I Wore Edition

Now don’t let my fashion merchandising degree fool you- I have left the house looking a hot homeless mess on more than one occasion.  Now it’s not usually a downright fashion faux pas but more of a ‘I don’t care *slash* don’t have time *slash* haven’t done laundry in two weeks’ look of yoga pants and UGGs.  I’m a good dresser-when I try (which I admit typically doesn’t include Saturday and Sunday during daylight).

Oh, but then there are those blips- those inexplicable outfits that I thought were acceptable and, in retrospect, should have never made it into my closet let alone onto my body and out my door.  Now, as a child of the late eighties and early nineties I’m not going to be talking about the acid washed denim with the elastic waistbands and pegged legs or the shoulder pads- we all have those horror stories.  I’m not going to focus on things pre-2000.  I am NOT willing to accept responsibility for anything pre-2000 because a) I blame my parents and b) the whole world (except Kate Moss) was dressing horribly.  No, I’m only going to be discussing the things that I made the conscious and informed decision to wear thinking that it’d be fabulous.  Terrible.  Some of them are just ugly and some are just embarrassing.  Please don’t judge me too harshly based on what I’m going to reveal here.

·         My junior prom dress: hot pink, shiny, poofy, hideous.  The strange updo and purple eye shadow didn’t help either.  The shoes, however, were amazing.  Silver, high, and blinged to the max.  I wore them well into college until the stones fell out.

·         The summer after my freshman year of college my boyfriend dumped me for another girl.  So what’s a girl to do? Go to Morgantown Mall (Gadzooks) and buy a black shirt with gold lettering that says ‘Single and Fabulous’.  That paired with a black mini skirt and about 3 too many gold accessories is bad all by itself.  But it gets even worse.  I definetly ran into both of them at the bar that night and he took one look at me and said ‘nice shirt’.  I died.

·         Junior year my 2 roommates and I went to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers in Columbus.  The concert was the night before Halloween so we all decided to wear our Halloween costumes.  Correction- I thought we all decided to wear our Halloween costumes.  They changed their minds and didn’t tell me.  Since we were only going to be there one night, I only brought my firefighter costume.  I got there and that’s all I had to wear and I found out they didn’t bring theirs.  Pissed!  Whatever.  I rocked it and got a lot of love from the other concert goers but it was still slightly embarrassing.  The moral of the story is NEVER only bring one outfit- especially if that one outfit is a Halloween costume.  Lesson learned.

·          Floor length dress with thigh-high slits up both legs.  Oh it gets better.  It was red and black tiger print with sequins ALL over.  Oh it was terrible.  I wore it to a sorority formal sophomore year with strappy black heels.  I thought I was sooo sexy.  Oh I was sooo wrong.

          

            These are the four examples that come to the front of my mind when I think back on the fashion missteps in my life but I’m sure as soon as this gets posted I’m going to be swamped with texts saying ‘what about that time you wore _____? That was HORRIBLE!’.  As I look back on these outfits though, I wore them during some of the best nights of my life.  I remember everything about them so vividly and had so much fun it was unbelievable and nothing-not even bad outfits could ruin them.  It’s not about what you wear but how you wear it.  At the time I thought I looked amazing in each of those outfits so my confidence took over and I had an amazing time.

The Animal Psychiatric Ward

               In our family, pets are equal family members to those of us with only 2 legs.  They are characters and have more problems than we do.  Let me just give you a brief history; my parents have 3 golden retrievers and 1 cat (we had 2 cats and 2 birds but 1 cat and both birds died- separate occurrences) and I have my Australian cattle dog-black lab mix.

 The first golden, Alex, is a total mamma’s boy and cannot be away from my mom for more than 5 minutes.  On two separate occasions he has made himself sick (literally sick) when my mom was away.  Two summers ago when she was in Italy for 6 weeks he stressed himself out so badly that he just started scratching his face raw and it became infected with a flesh eating bacteria (it was even grosser than you can imagine).  Then, last winter when my parents were going to Puerto Rico he must have gotten wind of that because his leg swelled up to 3 times its normal size and my parents ended up cancelling their trip.  Not 2 hours after they cancelled the trip, Alex was off the couch walking around.  Unbelievable.

                Katie, the second golden, is the sweetest little thing you’ve ever seen in your life.  All she wants is to be petted all day and to get love.  She also has a major anxiety disorder.  Any time it storms (or even looks ominous outside) she can be found in the shower, shaking.  She is always panting like she’s having a heart attack-even if nothing is going on.  She is also our little escape artist- she kept escaping so my parents had to build a 4 foot high fence in the backyard.  She CLIMBS the fence. 

                And then we come to Jack.  Jack is our ‘special boy’- my dad’s pride and joy.  He is half golden and half Pyrenees (if you don’t know anything about dogs, they are these giant, fluffy, gentle white dogs with a very laid back but stubborn personality).  Jack reminds me of an ageing hippie- he’s very go-with-the-flow but he can easily get off track and wander off.  He’s getting old so he moves very slowly.  His favorite activity is to go inside and then go outside and then want to go inside and then outside again.  He will literally scratch at the door and as soon as we let him out he’s ready to come in again.  We’re not sure if it’s dementia or just sheer boredom.  Also, if there’s a dog outside or something that makes the other two dogs bark, it doesn’t matter what window they’re barking at (even the back windows) Jack always goes to the same kitchen window and barks out that one.  He has no idea what’s going on.  A few years ago Jack had cancer and my parents decided to do chemo and treat him as long as he wasn’t in uncomfortable.  Well the treatment worked amazingly well and he’s still with us.  He’s such a cool dog that when my parents would go to pick him up after treatment he wouldn’t be in the kennel, he would be in the doctor’s office or in the reception area just chilling out. 

              Also at my parent’s house we have Max- my little fur ball.  He’s this incredibly fat and fluffy blonde cat.  I remember the day we went to see him at the pound like it was yesterday: his name was Shrub (the names of cats and kittens were generated by a computer because there were so many of them) and he was curled up in a ball in the back of the cage.  We fell in love with him instantly but as soon as we got him home we started realizing he wasn’t all there in the head.  He would just whine and whine and whine for no reason all the time.  If you tried to pick him up or pet him he would hiss and cry.  If you even look at him sometimes he will hiss at you.  Granted, our other cat at the time, Cubbie, used to beat him up, and we kept adding dogs to the family so Max had reason to hate his life.  The only time he’s happy is when he’s in a box (like a cardboard box).  He loves being in there.  He has this ritual where every night without fail he spends the night dragging up socks from the laundry room to the top of the stairs and crying.  It literally sounds like he’s saying ‘Mom, hello’.  It’s mad creepy.  He was very happy when I moved out of my parents’ house and moved into my own place where there were no other animals.  He was a completely different cat- he was playful, affectionate, and just generally happy.  Unfortunately, that didn’t last long- I brought home Archie (more to come on him) and Max was not having that- I came home one day from work and Max had his little bags packed and waiting by the door ready for me to take him back home. 

                Which brings me to the craziest of them all…Archie.  I ran into Petsmart one rainy day in February 2010 to get some kitty litter and there was a Humane Society adoption day going on.  I knew that I shouldn’t go in because I’ll want to adopt a dog.  My friend was with me and she was like ‘oh we’ll just go straight to the kitty litter and leave’.  Not so much.  They were wrapping up the event and there was one dog left with his foster parent.  He was 10 months old, black, and adorable.  I went straight from Petsmart to the foster parent’s house for my first interview.  A month (and two additional interviews) later he was mine!  It was really rough at first- he would literally attack me and bite me.  I almost called 911 the night I brought him home because he went crazy on me and literally ripped my pants off my body and I had to sprint across the backyard sans pants.  I spent two or three solid months looking like I’d been beaten up.  But after a few months we hit our stride and fell into a routine.  About 6 months ago I enrolled him in doggie daycare three days a week and it has been the best thing that’s ever happened to both of us- he gets to socialize with other dogs and get all his energy out and we have a nice peaceful time at home.  It warms my heart to see how excited he gets when we pull up to daycare but the best feeling is when I pick him up in the evening and his tail starts wagging and he runs towards me! 

                He’s still bat shit crazy.  He has the out of control high pitched bark when he wants attention and he still has more energy than I thought possible.  He still instinctively wants to bite things (me) but he now remembers that he can’t so he does this thing where he bites the air.  He sees imaginary things and follows them around.  His favorite game is to try and catch lightning bugs.  He tears toys to shreds in record time.  When we go to my parents’ house all the other dogs look at me like ‘really? Why is he here?’ because he’s just excited to play with his cousins.

                Even though we have 4 crazy dogs and one strange cat I wouldn’t trade or change any of them for the world.  They enrich our lives and are the source of endless entertainment.   They are such characters and each hastheir own little (actually, big) personalities.  We love them so much and they truly are members of our family!

Why Being Single Doesn't Suck

This past weekend my ex came into town and I got to thinking about relationships (woah, sound like Carrie Bradshaw much?).  Let me preface this by saying that I absolutely ADORE my ex.  He’s a great guy and I really love and respect him.  Here’s the thing that struck me: it’s been awhile since I was in a relationship and I’d forgotten how hard it is being around a guy (or anybody) every minute of the day. 

When people find out that I’m single, their immediate reaction is ‘oh, that’s ok- I know you’ll find someone.’  No shit I’ll find someone- I’m awesome.  There is a short period of time left in my life when I’m going to be single and I need to relish it.  There are so many benefits to being single and honestly, I don’t know why more people don’t BRAG about being single (maybe we don’t want to piss off our coupled friends??).  Here are just a few of my favorite things about being single:

-It’s all about ME.  I do what I want, when I want, how I want.

-I get to choose who I spend time with­-no smiling through time with his friends/family/coworkers.

-It’s all about my interests- I don’t have to (pretend to) care about baseball season starting or Call of Duty.

-No need to compromise

-I’m on my own schedule-if my plans change I don’t have to inform/check in with anyone (and don’t even get me started on people who have to ask permission to do something).

-None of this ‘what should we do/see/eat tonight?’ I know what I want to do/see/eat and that’s all that matters.

-I will not be forced to see Captain America.

-If I don’t feel like shaving for a day (or two…) it’s ok- I’ll just wear pants and nobody will know the difference

-My down time is all my own- I can sprawl out on my couch in sweats and watch as much shitty TV as I want and nobody will judge my choices.

-I can decorate however I want (see previous post).

-No toggling between watching SportsCenter and Real Housewives.

-Save money by not having to buy Valentine’s Day, Christmas, Anniversary, or birthday presents.

-My money is MINE to spend how I want.

-Nobody giving me hell about drinking waaay too much to drink the night before.

-Everything in my house is EXACTLY how I (or Archie) left it.  Nobody bitches if I leave a mess and I have nobody else’s mess to bitch about.

-Toilet seat.  Need I say more?

-When I come home from a rough day I can have peace and quiet.  Priceless.

-There simply isn’t enough room in my bed, what with me, Archie, and the 6 pillows I insist on sleeping with.

- It’s a very liberating and satisfying feeling seeing all that I can do and have accomplished on my own.  By being single I’m really learning a lot about myself and am becoming a stronger person.

There is going to come a time when I’m not single and when that time comes I’ll be at a different place in my life and I will welcome the changes that come.  I’ll want to compromise, share, and everything else that comes with being in a healthy relationship.  But until then- I’m literally LOVING being single and having it be all about moi. 

You Mean Leopard Print Isn't a Neutral???

Although I do my very best to come across as a mature adult, there is a very strong possibility that I am a 13 year old trapped in this twentysomething body.  I don’t know what it is, but I cannot resist anything hot pink, animal print, or blinged out.  I can’t walk past the tween bedroom aisle without taking a peek.  Unfortunately, more often than not I come out with yet another set of zebra sheets.  Imagine my horror when, thumbing through the latest issue of Elle, I read that animal prints are out.  Out?!? Is this some kind of sick joke? Who decided this?  Certainly nobody asked me (or the lovely women who live in the great state of New Jersey). 

Aside from the animal print apparel, I am also the owner of 3 pairs of animal print heels, a zebra themed bathroom complete with shower curtain and towel sets, 2 pairs of zebra sheets, leopard nightstand and ottoman, who knows how many throw pillows and little knickknacks, and an unmentionable number of animal print bags, headbands, bracelets, etc.  I know that grown women can wear animal print and it’s no big deal- however this is not my only symptom of tween-styling disorder.  While my friends have moved on to more demure and age-appropriate color palettes (a tasteful beige, a muted coral or turquoise, my bestie even dared utter –brace yourself- “white” when I asked her what her favorite color was) I cannot seem to shake my hot pink problem.   Throughout high school and most of college I had HOT pink acrylic nails.  Yup, the looong square ones.  Not just pink- obnoxious pink.  I love pink.  Anything pink.  But not just any pink.  That bold, so-bright-if-you-look-at-it-too-long-will-burn-your-eyes pink.  As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to tone it down a bit- but every single day I’ve either wearing or using something from one of the 3 staples I’ve mentioned above.

I keep it simple at work.  My desk has a vase with some beautiful flowers in it but other than that my desk is pretty basic (except for the blinged out stapler and tape dispenser of course).  I don’t write in gel pens (remember those?!?) or the feather boa topped pens like they had in Clueless (although they were the shizzz).  I understand that there is a time and place for everything and in my job I people trust me to make important decisions- I don’t want to make them question the confidence they put in me by looking like a silly little girl.  I do, however, use an unreasonable about of pink post-it notes but I justify that by saying that they are the most eye-catching and that’s why I use them.

But outside of work- IT’S ON!  Hot pink velour Juicy sweatsuit? Why not.  (My ex called it my Easter Bunny outfit but even he had to admit it was cute).  I have about 4 different shades of pink bands for my Michele and 2 different animal print bands.  Glittery flip flops are my favorites because they dress up whatever I’m wearing (if only by 0.0001%).  Dump out my bag, for example.  You’ll find a pink iPhone, a pink wallet, a leopard print house key (on a sparkly keychain) and a pink business card holder.  Out of control, I know.  I’d never even given it a thought until someone pointed it out.   At what point does my affinity for all things leopard, pink, and sparkly cross the line?  

I understand that the color pink is associated with ‘little girls’ and not GAW (grown ass women).  It’s not like I’m Elle Woods from Legally Blonde walking around with pink on head to toe (usually).  Just because I’m getting older, am I supposed to resign myself to a life on navy blue, black, gray, and khaki?  I can’t imagine the only prints in my life being stripes (vertical) and plaid. These little embellishments throughout my day make me happy.  If I’m having a stressful day at work and I go to staple something, my stapler makes me smile.  I love slipping off my shoes at 5 and putting on my pink flip flops.  My favorite part of my day is snuggling up in my pink and zebra bed with my dog.  Because if pink, animal print, and sparkle are wrong for a woman of my age then I certainly don’t want to be right.

Welcome to TwentySomethingMess

Welcome to the grand opening of TwentySomethingMess! I have 5 years and 1 month to get my life together before the name no longer applies so I’d better step on it.   Let me start by introducing myself: I am 24 and I live in DC with a roommate, E, and the love of my life- my dog Archie.  I studied Fashion Merchandising (good call, right?) and worked in retail management after graduation until I got burned out (don’t roll your eyes- you can absolutely get burned out at 24) and I now work in an office.  The fast pace is gone but so are many of my problems.  That didn’t seem to help my non-work problems but a start is a start.  I feel that we (twentysomethings) have so many different goals, dreams, fears, insecurities, questions, opinions, ideas, etc and that often we cannot express them in a constructive manner.  I am here because I want a place to share my ideas and struggles but also a place to share the things I love and interesting experiences that I’ve had.

My main goal is to get my shit straight.  Simple, right?  And how am I going to get my shit straight you may ask?  Well I have decided that I need to get 4 main areas situated and when they are situated I will consider my ish straight. 

1.       Professional:  I need to figure out what I want to do with my life.  I know that I’m not alone in that search.  I need to figure out what I like, what I’m good at, and how I can turn that into a career.

2.       Personal Interests:  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found that many of my former interests have dwindled or disappeared completely.  Take painting- senior year of high school I loved painting.  What happened?  Did I grow out of it or do I still like it and I just didn’t have time for it anymore?  I need to take a look at my old interests and also try new things to cultivate new interests.

3.       Social: In college I was one of the party girls and was always looking for a good time- that’s part of sorority life, right?  As soon as I graduated I swear I came down with some crazy form of social anxiety.  I don’t do clubs like I used to- I can’t!  I don’t need the millions of friends that I had at school- I’m good with a few great friends.  One thing that I’m sure that many of you can relate to is that my friends are spread out all over the place- it’s so hard!  My goals include putting myself out there and getting to know new people- people outside of my comfort zone.  I also need to make a stronger effort to stay connected with my loves all over the country.  I mean New Jersey really isn’t that far- why can’t I seem to get my ass up there?

4.       Romantic: Ugh, yes I need to get my love life in order.  I don’t need to, but I’d like to.  I need to not let past hurt and broken relationships creep up on me and make reappearance in my life.  I also need to find a good place to meet guys that aren’t crazy.

My hope is that if I get these four areas in order, I will able to become the well-rounded adult woman that I want to be (there will probably be more areas that I decide are essential to my personal wellbeing but for now these are the four I’m going to focus on).  I’m going to make a massive amount of mistakes along the way and I’m sure there will be some teary wine-induced blogs down the road, but as of right now I’m beginning this journey starry-eyed and naive as hell that by doing this blog and focusing on the four areas above, I’ll find my happily ever after.  Buckle up- it’s going to be a bumpy ride!

<3 TSM